We all know that “the good life” means more than money. But are we exactly sure what those other things are or how to get them…
We know that love and friends and other stuff are important too – but they’re a lot more complicated to explain and we can’t just have them delivered to our house by Amazon Prime or Fed-ex.
Evaluating life by one metric turns out to be a key problem for a successful life.
After reading the book, “barking up the wrong tree” by Eric Barker, this week, I wanted to share some insights I got from the book because it will shed some light on the importance of, and how to get some balance in our life. Like Eric Barker himself would say;
“We can’t use just one yardstick to measure a successful life.”
If money isn’t the only measurement of success, what else should we be measuring?
Mr. Barker describes four subjective measurements of success achievement. In the following, lets look at his measurements of life success and try to find out what we can do to achieve our unique “good life”
1. Do you feel like you are winning
To feel like you’re winning you need to consistently accomplish meaningful goals.
The Author suggests we start by setting and hitting small but meaningful goals each day. I find that writing my next video script, ad or blog post, or listening to three chapters of an audio-book, editing the pictures from my latest hike, or writing a week worth of captions for Instagram gives me a feeling of achievement and sense that I’m moving towards my goals.
Eric found that hitting small goals like this every day leads to a larger achievement (like writing a book or running a successful YouTube channel) that we can look back on and be proud of. I also find that having the right mindset is crucial to feel that you are winning
What can you do to feel that you are winning every day?
2. “The good life” must lead to our Legacy
Do you feel like you’re influencing others in a positive way? To feel like you’re influencing others in a positive way you need to pass on your values and help others find success.
I find that writing words of encouragement on Instagram, sharing insights around life as a solopreneur and helping people move forwards with their online business is very meaningful to me. It feels important and I love that I can help people do what I did.
I had to learn to feel that I could be of value. I knew that I had a lot of knowledge from life and business, but I still felt worthless… after joining the SFM I learned to believe in myself. Now I can help people believe in themselves too because I can relate. Make sure you read this blog post about the 5 shocking secrets your ego is blocking your success
If you’re a parent, you might generate a feeling of influence by taking the time to teach and instill your values in your children, who go on to pass their values on to their children. This is what really got me thinking that I had to make my dreams come through… this question kept popping up in my head…
What am I teaching my children if I don’t realize my dreams? Will they think that their dreams are not important? will they have to work 9 to 5 in a job they hate to pay bills until they die…
My legacy to my kids and grandkids is very clear now…
“We live to fulfill our dreams by help others build their dreams”
3. The good life must lead to feeling Significant
Do you feel like you’re needed by the people closest to you? To feel like you’re needed you need to be there for the people that matter most to you.
Mr. Barker writes that you want to find a way to be valuable to the people around you so that you will be missed when you’re gone. I feel needed in my online business because people book appointments with me every day to get help with small or large issues on their journey to freedom, and I absolutely love to be of assistance.
The opposite would be that we work for someone that doesn’t appreciate us, and we all know how that can feel. If you are in a situation with your employer where you don’t feel important and that the company values you, I strongly recommend you to sign up here to learn how to get out of the situation and move towards your good life.
To me, feeling significant also means that I can be there for my family whenever they need me. Because working online gives me the freedom to control my time. I can take my mom shopping or take time off to do fun stuff when the kids are free or have lunch with a friend whenever. Time freedom gives me the opportunity to be there for my loved ones without asking a boss for permission and that is absolutely priceless.
4. Happiness is part of “the good life”
Do you feel like you’re enjoying life? To feel like you’re enjoying life you need to find a way to enjoy the day‐to‐day experience of life and be grateful for what you have, according to Eric Barker.
He suggests that we make a habit of stopping during the day and appreciating one small thing that’s going well. I would also suggest to-do a mindful meditation and find 10 things to be grateful for every day. Also, sending high energy feelings to everyone you have a gut feeling that needs it, is a daily exercise that fills me with love.
He also suggests for us to be playful and listen to music during the day to experience happiness without the need to attain specific results. We all have that song that makes us smile and want to dance, right…
Happiness is also something you can decide to be. that means changing some automatic responses, and call out the habits and hidden fears that are holding you back…
Finding our intensifiers
To sum it up, ask yourself; What can you do to consistently generate a feeling that you’re winning, influencing, needed, and enjoying life?
Put yourself in environments that leverage your intensifiers. Intensifiers are qualities that, on average, appear to be negative but become strengths in specific environments. Mr. Barker uses Examples like;
- Winston Churchill’s paranoia and stubbornness are negative qualities in a peacetime environment, but signature strengths in wartime.
- Michael Phelps’s body is far from perfect. His short legs and long upper body make him an awkward runner on land. But in the pool, his awkward physical qualities enabled him to become the most successful swimmer of all time.
- · Asperger’s is typically a negative condition in most work settings, but strength as a tech entrepreneur. A person with a mild form of Asperger’s is more likely to challenge social norms and not feel intimidated by other people, two qualities that every successful tech entrepreneur needs.
To identify your intensifiers, create a mind‐map of your so‐called flaws; a list of attributes that most people find odd and negative.
After you’ve generated a collection of attributes, try to identify specific contexts where each attribute could be considered a strength.
Some flaws, like chronic procrastination, won’t be very useful in any situation. However, a few so‐called “flaws” can become your signature strengths in the right environment.
Your Signature strenght’s will define your good life
Your Signature strengths will define your unique success with “the good life”
When you develop and leverage these signature strengths, you maximize the rate of progress you can make towards meaningful goals and will often feel like you’re winning.
By developing and leveraging your signature strengths, you’ll stand out and have a better opportunity to influence others.
Your signature strengths will make you uniquely valuable, which will ensure that you always feel needed. And according to a recent Gallup study, when you routinely leverage your signature strengths, you’ll smile more often, be less stressed, and enjoy life. All of which leads to a satisfying and successful life.
“What’s the most important thing to remember when it comes to success? One word: ALIGNMENT. Success is not the result of any single quality; it’s about alignment between who you are and where you choose to be. The right skill in the right role. A good person surrounded by other good people.” – Eric Barker
The quote over ends with your kind of person surrounded by other likeminded persons. To me, that was the biggest clue to my success with getting “the good life”. Because finding a tribe of likeminded people searching for the good life, changed my life more than anything. This is where my journey to the good life started
If you want to read the Book for deeper understanding, you can get it here
